We're in California. Without Daddy. For six months. It sucks. We like California...but we like Daddy better. Which really brings me to update my blog today. Yeah, I really suck at keeping up with the blog but I just can't seem to get myself to update regularly. I just have so many other obligations to keep up with! (aka Luna)
When I hear people refer to their spouses as their best friend like at the altar when saying their wedding vows or do shout outs (do people even use the word shout out anymore?) on fb saying how lucky they are to be with their best friend for the rest of their lives, etc, I just thought it weird. My best friends are those who stood as my bridesmaids on my wedding day, not the groom. But I suppose best friend is the best word in the English language that describes how you feel about your spouse. I wish there was a better word for who your spouse is to you that means greater than best friend because to say that my husband is my best friend is putting him at the level at which I put my bridesmaids at and he is so much more than that. So today, I got to really thinking about and defining who he is and who a spouse should be to any and every married person. I strongly believe that your spouse is the first person you should be relying on when you need to rely on someone. If you're in a pinch, you shouldn't be thinking of your bff from high school unless that person is your spouse. My best friends are the bestest and wouldn't trade them for the world, and I never really thought about this before marriage or even in the earlier years of my marriage, but they don't come close to what my husband means to me and they've been my best friends longer than I have known my husband. I've come to the conclusion that no one in my life is as reliable and dependable as my husband and it sucks that we're an ocean apart because Luna and I are kind of without our Rock in our lives. Yeah, my bffs will run over if I call them, but they're also married, live kind of far, and have kids. So, no, I cannot just call them over because I need to go to the mall for an hour to unwind from having only seen and talked to a toddler all day. Even though I am currently staying at my parent's house, they also have their own lives and I cannot expect them to cancel their previous plans unless I am in an emergency. They don't plan their week with me in mind and I don't expect them to. My husband however is expected to make his plans with Luna and I in mind, I can just leave Luna with him whenever I want just because I want to go look at the cosmetics counter at the mall, and I don't feel bad about it. So when he isn't here, there is a giant hole in our lives. I believe that's what every person should feel when they are separated from their spouse for an extended amount of time. If you don't, yes, I will judge you. If you don't feel a giant hole in your life because your spouse isn't around, there is something wrong with your marriage. If you choose to live even a third of the year apart, I believe you have a problem. I seriously don't understand those families whose dad lives in one part of the world and the mom and the kids live elsewhere. Like really, if you're not so ridiculously poor that it is necessary for even just a bare minimum level of living, you're making a choice to live apart. (I don't include military families in my judgment however. They're a completely separate category.) Yeah, I'm being judgmental and I've never been in their shoes so perhaps I just don't understand but in this matter, I'm not afraid to be judgmental.
When it comes to missing your spouse versus your kids, I have an opinion about that too. I remember a friend who was telling me about what someone said at her parent's milestone wedding anniversary party. The man asked the father a hypothetical question: if your daughters and wife fell in the ocean and they all needed saving, who are you going to save first? Before the father answered, the man saved him from having to answer in front of the entire party. You're supposed to save your wife because you should love your wife more anyone else and should be the most important in your life. I understand that's a really hard situation but at the same time, it should really be a no-brainer. You should not be loving your kids more than you love your wife. It's like that scene in the movie "Jerry McGuire" where Tom Cruise falls in love with his assistant's son more than he is really interested in his mother. While it does happen unknowingly and I know it's hard sometimes, it's not right! So today, when I met a man who is in my husband's situation where his wife and kids are on the other side of the world and I asked him who he missed more, his sons or his wife, I was taken back when he answered that he didn't know. I only asked because for sure, I thought he would say that he missed his wife more. I hope my husband misses me more than he misses his daughter.
Anyways, enough of my ranting.
Here's Luna. Sometimes I remember that today's Luna is going to be different tomorrow and the day after that. I sometimes see her how other people see her...as the adorable cute little baby that she is. In the busy-ness of life and trying to raise her right, I forget to appreciate who she is and how precious she is. To observe her in her beauty, in her own uniqueness, in your light. What a precious gift she is, not just a little person to keep up with or someone to just look after. I'm going to miss the Luna that she is today and the Luna that she was yesterday, but I also look forward to the Luna she's going to be tomorrow and the day after that. I love the little kid to pieces and I hope to cherish every little second of the day with her because that second isn't going to be repeated.
